15 Lessons I Learned About Love & Relationships

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“When you know better, you do better.” –Maya Angelou

I wouldn’t call myself lucky. However, I will say I am blessed. I will say once I got smarter, I got better love! It is has been a very rocky yet rewarding road to finding true love for me. I am happy to be in a great relationship that I know will take me to places I never imagined, and add to my life joys I’ve only dreamed of. It is with this I offer you some words of wisdom that I have learned along the way through trial and error, reading, researching, and experience.

Finding love is something we all desire! It is a human thing. It is a God thing. We all desire to be connected to other people. This is both normal and natural! I have learned that if you want to find love in a hopeful place that you have to be in a hopeful state. You have to be in a place where you have your stuff together in order to add another’s on. The Top 15 Lessons I’ve Learned about LOVE:

  1. Loving and Accepting Yourself is the FIRST STEP to LOVE!
  2. Know What Type of Relationship You Want and Be Prepared to Get It
  3.  Standards Are Necessary and Needed
  4.  Being Open Makes it Easier
  5.  Not Healing Holds Us Back from Great Things   
  6.  Preparation brings Rewards
  7.  Baggage Weighs You Down
  8. Friendship in Love is a Must!
  9. You Need More Than Love once the “Honeymoon” Phase fades
  10. Compromise is Essential  
  11. Great Men are Everywhere…Open Your Eyes!
  12. Having a Life of Your Own is a Must!
  13. Relationships and Marriage Take Work
  14. Your Partner Should Compliment, Not Complete You
  15. Being Single is the Perfect Time to Heal, Learn, and Prepare for a Relationship

If you want to succeed in love it is a matter of first loving yourself. Loving and accepting yourself is one of the hardest things to do. But, it can be done. Second, if you want to find love in a hopeful place it is important that you LEARN how to do love and make relationships work. It is not normal or natural for you to know how to make something a success if you haven’t learned how to.  This is one of the biggest mistakes in being single, entering relationships, and entering into marriages. One quote that stuck with me the most from marriage counselor Gary Chapman, author of Things I Wish I Knew Before I Got Married, was “Most people spend far more time in preparation for their vocation then they do for marriage.” One of the most revolutionary quotes I’ve ever heard. Hands down I think this is the biggest mistake people make when it comes to love. No preparation and lack of education. Reason why we spend years in high school and college, and do our jobs well but not our relationships. Most of us think relationships and dating should be natural and should just work….wrong! It doesn’t work like that. It works best when you are proactive and not reactive.

I barely scratched the surface with this post there is so much more to share. But, I would urge you to remain HOPEFUL and not HOPELESS about love. There is way too much love to go around in the world for that.  Even if you are young and don’t want a relationship right now it wouldn’t hurt to start learning about relationships now. Maya Angelou said it best, “Once you know better, you do better.” She is so right! Take it from a girl who learned and did better…giggle. Have questions or thoughts…post below.

Start on your love journey today, regardless of your age or stage (single, dating, engaged, newlywed, married,)…

Some my favorite and highly recommended resources:

Demetria Lucas– A Belle In Brooklyn: The Go-to Girl for Advice on Living Your Best Single Life

Gary ChapmanFive Love Languages & Things I Wish I Knew Before I Got Married

Paul Brunson, Modern Day Matchmaker on twitter @PaulCBrunson

Rori Rayehttp://blog.havetherelationshipyouwant.com/

Shay the Date DIVADIVA Don’t Get Played: A Single Women’s Dating Guide to Catching the Man of Her Dreams in 30 Days at http://www.shayyourdatediva.com/

Serita Jakes Books- The Princess Within and Beside Every Good Man

Kenya K StevensChange Your Man: How to Become the Woman He Wants/ jujumamablog.com

Carl E StevensTame Your Woman: Be the Man She Needs You to Be

JJ Smith– Why I Love Men: The Joys of Dating 

Tony GaskinMrs. Right: A woman’s guide to becoming and remaining a wife

Michelle Leahy1001 Questions to Ask Before You Get Married

 Have questions, need advice, or resource suggestions, e-mail: regalrealness@gmail.com

Comments

  1. Aww Ms.Regal Regalness! I loved this post! Definitely hit a cord. I guess it is true to remain hopeful and not hopeless because that is the stage where I am at…and loving myself wouldn’t hurt either. Thank you for this post!

  2. Yes, please remain hopeful!! Love is out there for you!