Live like a Queen: How to Get Your Confidence Up in 5 Easy Steps!


 “Your crown has been bought and paid for. All you must do is put it on.” – James Baldwin 

Believing in yourself and loving yourself are the hardest things to do in the world! You would think it would be easier! Unfortunately, most of us come to this self-realization about how powerful we really are much later in life. I guess I never understood that. Nor have I accepted that as a fact of life. I will never accept that. All people deserve to be told they are loved. All people deserve the right to be empowered. You should always carry yourself as if you wearing an invisible crown. Not because you are better than anyone else, but because you are worthy! Your crown has been brought and paid for. You have been a queen long before you were born. You come from a long line of royalty contrary to popular belief.

Queen Latifah is not the first queen to date. Never the less she is a good role model, but she even understood when selecting her name that she was from this long line. Queen meaning, “a woman, or something personified as a woman, that is foremost or preeminent in any respect”, and “Latifah” meaning ‘gentle’ and ‘pleasant’ in Arabic. She could have easily stuck with her original name of “Dana Owens,” however she decided to connect herself back to her cultural heritage, and identity as an empowered woman of color! Additionally, she has evolved her style and skills, and is now a Covergirl! Who would have ever thought? It all started with someone implanting the idea in her mind that she was worthy.


It’s a shame that in today’s society far too many women and men I see believe and live their life as if there is no crown, and no history of royalty amongst people of color. Boy, how wrong are they? Our crowns are buried deep inside of our souls, wrapped in our spirits, tucked away in our hair follicles, and engulfed in our hearts. The world is not an easy place. It can truly make you feel unworthy. Experiences can lock away that crown. Bad relationships, low self-esteem, unstable home lives, absent or estranged parents, lack of education, media images, and the list continues of the ways our crowns are constantly tested in society. But, if we are to restore ourselves to our rightful thrones we must think of this in terms of the $20 bill theory. If I was given out a $20 bill randomly you would take it. If I crumbled it up, you would still take it. If I stumped on it and through it around, you would still want it. Why? Because it still has the same value! The same is true for us. No matter how much comes our way we still have value. It never left. It will always be there. We are the ones who have to find it buried in there.

Consequently, all it takes is one experience to bring your crown back out! I know it took me one experience that left me lost, unconfident and unsure that led me on my journey to find my crown. I will never ever look back from this point on. It is my “crown state” that I am my best self. I do my best work. I attract the best friendships and relationships. I eat the best foods. I make the best moves. I live my best life because I refuse to settle for less. I know who I am and whose I am.

It is this place that I hope to inspire, educate, and empower others to be in. It is imperative that young women of color and women everywhere realize that they have been living in a kingdom their entire lives. Here are 5 ways to help you find your inner queen!

  1. Educate yourself (follow blogs such as: The Learning Curve & social media that uplifts such as: Esteem Yourself and read books that empower ie: Get Yours! How to Have Everything You Ever Dreamed of and More! By Amy Dubois Barnett)
  2.  Tap into your feminine (paint your nails, cook dinner, do your hair, wear more dresses and skirts, visualize your future man. You will be surprised how this one automatically puts you into a queen mindset)
  3. Express Yourself (Begin a journey towards self-discovery and healing from negative attitudes and experiences–seek counseling, write in a journal, dance, paint, sing… anyway you know how to release stress, pain, anger, and old attitudes about yourself that disregard your worth!)
  4.  Get a Mentor/Role Model (Surround yourself with women who are confident and successful. Ask them to mentor you)
  5. Visualize Yourself (Write out a description of the type of woman you want to be, and the type of man you want in your life. Practice it daily. You can only attract who and what you are. If you want a king, you must first ACT like a queen  )

Believing in yourself is the first step towards being happy, and living a good life.  It is in this motto you can find yourself again, “we are the ones we have been waiting for.”What are you waiting for? “Go get it” as Mary Mary would say. Go get all that is yours in the world! It is the idea of loving and accepting your “real” self flaws and all, but recognizing your “regal” allure locked inside of you. It is regal realness at its best. The life you truly want will never begin until you find your crown, put it on and wear it—confidently!


The Mission of The Learning Curve is to encourage women to enter into a period of transition, as a means of gaining self-knowledge, purpose and happiness.

What is the biggest thing holding you back from becoming the queen you are meant to be?


  1. I loved this article!!!

  2. Thanks for stopping by and reading Vyletlite!!

  3. Love, love love this article. Touched my heart!

  4. Awww! That is so good to hear!

  5. God bless you for posting darling!! Please do not stop writing.


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