6 Ways to Get to Know Yourself Better


Photo Credit: Essence.com

As we learn and grow it is imperative that we learn to know and love ourselves.

Oftentimes we ask ourselves, “How well do I know myself?” It amazes me the number of women I meet who have no clue who they are. However, I remember being the same way not too long ago. Those negative thoughts creep into your mind, and if they stay they can have a big impact if you let them!

Digging deep rather than just scratching the surface of ourselves is hard. The deep stuff is messy. It’s scary. It’s vulnerable. It’s real! But, when we tap into it ourselves we change for the better. So the question is how can you get to know the REAL YOU better? In order to get to the other side of the curve you must first BUILD yourself up which in turn creates a foundation for you to stand on. Want to raise your self-esteem, be more self-assured, and confident? Follow these quick tips:

1.       Recognize It’s a Process

Realize that discovering who you truly are is a process! It is a journey. It is what we call life. It is a learning curve. Life will throw many twists and turns and if you are to thrive (not just survive) you have to build your muscle (inner confidence and self –esteem)

2.       Rid Yourself of Low Self-Esteem

Low self-esteem will keep you from reaching your personal best and really living your dreams. Those who truly know themselves are more likely to have high self-esteem.

3.       Get Quiet with Yourself

Take some timeout to be alone and get quiet with yourself—use this time to write out your favorite qualities about yourself, your hopes, dreams, fears, a list of things you like and dislike, your beliefs, and the type of woman you envisioned yourself being.

4.       Start Blogging

Instead of using a classic diary to write, blog your journey. There are many  women going through the same thing as you. By sharing your journey you can connect, heal, and transform in the process of inspiring someone else. By making this journey public you are allowing your audience to hold you accountable. Once you build up a following, people will expect to hear and see your triumphs and your successes.

5.       Letter To Your Future Self

Write a letter as your future self at a certain age or even write an obituary (scary sounding I know!) but this will really help you figure out what you truly care about and what you really want your life to be like. Then you can make changes accordingly.

6.       Know Your Personality

There tons of quizzes and activities you can do to figure this out. Also ask friends and family members. Collect the info and create a personality board with words that describe who you are. Your personality really shapes how you interact with others and engage in relationships. Most times careers and lifestyles are based around our personalities, as well. (Two of my favorites are MBTI and the Color Personality test…both can be found online!)

 Post also published on THE LEARNING CURVE blog by my girl G. Ann here: http://tinyurl.com/8cootqq


  1. I love to read your post!!! THANKS!!!

  2. I checked off on all except, letter to future self! I think thats a great idea!

  3. DarkYetLovelyOne says:

    Thanks for this piece, I plan to pass it on to a friend of mine in therapy. May save her some money!’

  4. These are great tips! Oftentimes, we are so busy with our lives that we forget to stop and breathe. We change and evolve every day with every new experience. So important to know that it is a process and one that will be ever changing.

  5. LOVE this post!! I love the list of tips :)

    With Love,

  6. Yay!


  1. […] Taria is the founding editor of Regal Realness. Regal Realness™is a premier lifestyle blog that empowers women of color to build and radiate confidence from the inside out. This blog provides women with valuable insight, useful resources, and easy to implement solutions to discover their greatness within and come into their own in all areas of their life. Some of my favorite articles from Regal Realness include: 6 Secrets of Successful Women of Color 18 Ways To Tap Into Your Feminine Side from the Inside Out 6 Ways to Get to Know Yourself Better […]