Saying No is an Act of Self-Love

Serious young woman giving stop gesture

              Most people think I am a meanie because I have no problem saying “no,” but the truth of the matter is that it comes natural to me and I view it as a form of self-love. By recognizing that you cannot be everything to everybody you recognize and respect that you must preserve yourself and your energy.
 
                 A woman who pushes herself to darn hard will be worn out and broke down from running around for everybody, picking up so and so, taking Uncle so and so here, doing your best friend so and so a favor that turns into an all day affair (my least favorite of them all), and the list goes on. You see what I mean. By the time you get done fooling with everybody and their mother and cousin and friend you have no time left for you.
           Now realize that I am not saying that you should neglect your responsibilities such as being a wife or a mother or good friend. But, recognize that if you want to be operate at your best you need your alone time sometime!
                As women it is hard to make time for ourselves because we are multi-dimensional, multi-talented, and can perform millions of jobs and task because we got it like that. Problem is since we are the bomb everybody wants or needs a piece of what we got.
        Your hubby needs you to cook a meal because you can cook. Your friend needs you to help her put together a proposal because you are smart like that. Your kids need you to help with a project because you are a creative genius. Your family needs you to pay for something because you budget your finances really good!
             Whatever it may be…just realize that you are a one woman show! You can not do it all. You can do anything, but you can’t do everything. Again you can’t be everything to everyone.
 So…you just need to keep in mind that allotting yourself at least a half an hour when you get home for “me time” is not a selfish act! Blocking off a Saturday morning for a trip to the spa with you, yourself, and more you is necessary! That telling cousin so and so that you are unable to help him out on such and such day because you have plans (trip to the movies alone to enjoy some quality time with you counts!) is OKAY!
Audre Lorde said it best, “Caring for myself is not self-indulgence, it is self-preservation, and that is an act of political warfare.”