I got to see Tyler Perry’s Temptation this weekend! It was a great movie, sorry (*Spoiler Alerts*) are included so hopefully you saw it too. I couldn’t help but watch it, and not think of the messages this movie were sending loud and clear. It hit me that the messages it sends need to be taught to our young girls as early as possible. In today’s day and age, temptation is EVERYWHERE and so is a lack of knowledge of about men and love. We have to do better when it comes to these conversations. Here are the few lessons that stood out to me. Please feel free to share this with the younger women (and sometime older women) in your life who need to hear these:
1. His Relationship with His Mother Matters
Depending on their relationship, this will directly effect the type of interactions he has with you and the women in your family. Obviously, Judith didn’t catch this in the movie until it was too late.
2. Your Upbringing Does Matter and So Does His
Where we are from is one of the hugest factors in the type of person you will become. Watch out for these signs early on because people’s childhoods do affect them and matter!
3. Know the difference between Substance vs. Swag
Most of us are immediately attracted to swag! It takes us a little longer to really take the guy with substance (normally the good guy) more serious and look beyond the physical that may not match our standards in our mind. When it comes to swag, just like in the movie with Harley, everything that glitters is not gold. Harley had all the things a woman would want on the surface, but underneath there was no substance for Judith to grasp and she just didn’t get that.
4. Communicate Your Feelings to your Partner
When things start to change, step up and tell your partner. They won’t know unless you open your mouth!
5. You are Responsible for Feeling Alive, Loved, and Wanted Not Him
Judith ends up leaving her husband for Harley because he is adventurous and makes her feel alive and wanted. But a real confident woman knows she is responsible for believing in herself, loving herself, and creating her own fun and satisfying life not anyone else.
6. Good Guys are Worth it In the Long Run
Although he may not have the swag you desire it up front. He can grow into his style and create his own swag. It is also important to remember that swag may make you feel good, but it darn sure doesn’t pay bills or raise children.
7. You Think You Know, But You Have No Idea
Judith was convinced she knew what she was getting herself into. Her mother even told her that Harley was going to take her “straight to hell,” and she replies “Then I will enjoy the ride.” This is an act of immaturity and inexperience. Before jumping into something, do your research—always!
8. Lust Lasts for One Night, Love can Last a Lifetime
Lusting after someone will eventually fade with time! However, being deeply in love with a person can last a lifetime. Choose the one that will suit you best in the long run. Satisfying simple pleasures for a short period of time is not worth it.
9. When Someone Shows You Who They Are, Believe Them the First Time
Harely gave many red flags along the way, but Judith didn’t recognize them. There are always signs! Be conscious of this.
10. A Man will Only Do What You Allow Him to Do
If you allow them, then they will do it. Women often times forget that they are in control even if it doesn’t feel like. You are the queen of the castle. He responds to you. Make it worth your while to make your expectations clear. Both men treated Judith a certain way because she didn’t demand they do any different….this is a matter of self-respect and self-worth!
11. Love Don’t Cost a Thing
You don’t need him to buy you expensive things or to show off. Chances are if he is showing off, abusive, or very controlling then he is hiding something that he feels emasculates him (ie. HIV positive, insecure, short, smaller in certain areas compared to other men, mentally disturbed, etc)
12. You Attract Who and What You Are
If you want to attract a “devil in a red car” then start thinking like Judith! She clearly had low self-esteem and didn’t think highly enough of herself. Whereas has she saw herself as a confident, regal, and sexy woman she could have turned her marriage around rather than looking elsewhere for excitement! Her husband would have noticed the change and act accordingly.
Add the lessons you learned from the film below or comment on one that stood out to you.