Girl Stop Trying to Do It All Alone: Counseling & Coaching Aren’t Just a White Thing



You come first. Always have and always will. Your mama, husband, child, friend, job, car, etc. all come second because if you don’t take care of yourself then you will have nothing left to give to others and no time or energy left to make your own life ideal.

Getting help on this journey called life is not a white thing. It has nothing to do with color. But, it has everything to do with confidence and sanity. If you want to be more clear. If you want to heal.If you need an extra push.If you need to overcome something.If you need to jumpstart your life again. Then please do everyone a favor and consider stepping out and getting someone to help a sistah out. Consider these options as possibilities for helping you make it through any difficult situation in your life or a place in your life where you are ready to make a change.

Getting support for mental health in communities of color is so stigmatized that many are living day by day with the assumption that dealing with stuff is normal, you should suck up or be resilient.  However, one thing that is true about women is that we like to talk and we like connecting with other women for the most part. Use this to your advantage and speak with someone who is a third-party who knows absolutely nothing about you.

When we are healed and our personal issues are taking care of we can be better women. We can provide so much more to our men, our families, and our communities.

Side Note: You can use prayer. I know I do. But, “faith without work is dead.” So here is the part where you put in the work even if you have already prayed or are still praying.


Therapy– There are several types of therapy. Find one that works best for you in your area and go!

Hypnotherapy– Brings deep relaxation and altered state of consciousness although you would still be aware of what is occurring. Through hypnosis you would be taught how to master your awareness, and is particularly useful for helping people overcome fears and anxiety.

Counseling (individual or group)- A counselor can walk you through a certain situations or series of events that are effecting you by asking you a series of questions which cause you to think more deeply about your experiences and sort through them.

Coaching (over the phone or in person)- Hire a certified coach! Coaches come in a variety of areas including: Life, Personal Development, Business,

Self-Help Books– Use this DIY approach by reading a book that focuses on an issue you would like to resolve or learn more about. Concoct your own plan for putting the new info into action. Good choice if you don’t want anyone to know you are learning or healing using a support system. A book is way easier to hide while you read and begin implementing what you learn.

Home Study Courses– Very similar to self-help books. Courses usually have more hands-on exercises for participants to use to help them create results easier. Similar to the books. No one will know you are taking it unless you tell them. If privacy or the fear of thinking something is wrong with you is a reality then this might be the solution. A home study course is the same as taking a class with an instructor, materials, and work. It won’t feel like traditional help like going to a therapist.

REGAL RESOURCE: Depression and Women of Color + Reed Behavioral Solutions is highly recommended if you need a therapist or coach.


I want to hear from you:

  • Why do you think women of color shy away from getting help?
  • Have you tried any of these? What would you recommend?
  • What holds you back from trying these options?


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  1. Oh my goodness. You and I are thinking alike. My most recent post reviews nearly the same topic! I think Black women shy away from therapy for a number of reasons. One of them being that to see a therapist is seemingly admitting that you don’t have things under control or worse, you’re crazy. Please read my post and weigh in on my thoughts about Black women and seeking medical attention. #blm

    • This is such an important topic, and I am glad I am not the only one who recognized that. I look forward to reading your post and weighing in on your take on this same topic.

  2. Such a great post. We all need a helping hand. I do think black women sometimes neglect self care. Great reminder.


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