Until You Put Away All Childish Things You Will Never Be a Grown Woman


“When I was a child, I spoke as a child, I understood as a child, I thought as a child: but when I became a man, I put away childish things.” 1 Corinthians 13:11

Bey has done it again. I learned that she has a new song out called, Grown Woman, over on a blog called Fly that is a must read! As I watched Love & Hip Hop last night and thought about the fact that I am starting to truly come into my own I pondered the question: are all women grown? Weird, I know but I thought it was  worthy of attention.

We have no choice but to grow into “women.” But who ever said we were grown just because we are women. We toss the word around. “I’m grown a** woman I don’t got time for that” and the like is used so frequently whether it is true or not. According to Corinthians being grown would signify you have put away all childish things.

The truth is we all know someone and it could be yourself who has not put it all away. Cussing, lying, cheating, fighting, arguing in person or online, whining, bragging, stealing (items or men), settling, and being naïve are childish things.

When you get to a certain age airing your beef with someone via Facebook isn’t really all that glamorous if you think about it. Nor is pretending to be something you are not via Instagram by posting pics just to see how many likes you can get. It’s not like freeloading off of someone else instead of going out to get your own is any better.  Or staying with a man who clearly doesn’t want us, but yet we remain hopelessly in love while he pushes you away. Let me make it clear that I am not judging but instead putting it into perspective.  

While I have no room to judge. I do have room to reflect and think about this more deeply and so do you. Earlier this week Regal Realness follower and author Stacey Brice posted a status in reference to the show Love & Hip Hop. Scrappy, major star on the show has a daughter and is engaged to her mother, however prior to this engagement they has broken up. During this break Scrappy began a relationship with his best female friend Shay.

Scrappy and Shay

Scrappy and Shay


As you can imagine Shay was hurt deeply to hear about the engagement after their break up, and still wanted to be with Scrappy although he was engaged to his child’s mother. Stealing someone’s man could be considered childish, right?

Often we call someone childish when they are acting like a child, and often times refuse to accept the fact that they must grow up and move into their own. We’ve all been there before.

With that being said, Stacey posted on her wall the following:

“I’m watching LHHATL and I want to dislike Shay but I can’t. I been there done that SEVERAL TIMES in a “relationship” with someone who you think cares for you like they care for them….She’s just not at that point when she realizes she deserves more. Everybody gets to that realization at different times.”

On the other hand, Beyoncé declares proudly in her song, Grown Woman, “I’m a grown woman, I do whatever I want. I can be bad if I want. I can do wrong if I want. I can look fast if I want. I can go slow all night long…” 

 I agree with Stacy that we come into this realization of our worth at different stages, and Beyonce also backs this notion with her lyrics. Shay absolutely can do bad if she wants because she is an adult woman. But, does this equate to being grown? Grown women think, speak and act accordingly, and thinking less of yourself would be closer to the childish spectrum then the adult one.

As young girls we all struggle and as adult women we still struggle in certain areas, but settling for less than a life then you deserve is really not grown woman status. In reality, any girl can become a woman. But, it takes a mature woman who has consciously decided to put all childish things behind her to become a grown woman. It is the same idea that any man can become a father, but it takes a real man to put away all childish and selfish things and step up and be a father. Same difference.

Regal Resource: Beyonce’s Grown Woman


I want to hear from you:

  • Do you like Beyonce’s new song, Grown Woman?
  • Do you agree with Stacy’s comments on the situation?
  • Should all women be considered grown even if they don’t act like it? 



Taria is the founding editor of Regal Realness. She is a writer, teacher, lifestyle blogger, and women’s empowerment expert. She helps women of color build & radiate confidence, discover their greatness, and come into their own.
Ask her questions at: http://ask.fm/regalrealness

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  1. I actually think Beyonce’s song, and the lyrics to its chorus, only further inspires more childish behavior from women. “I’m a grown woman, I do whatever I want. I can be bad if I want. I can do wrong if I want. I can look fast if I want. I can go slow all night long…” So women take this as a free pass to be bad, do wrong, look and act fast, and then justify it by saying that they are a grown woman. Actually, Kelly Rowland’s song “Grown Woman” (Yes, another thing that Beyonce stole) has a better depiction of learning to act like a grown up and handle problems in a better, more mature way. As soon as we stop glamourizing childish women like every cast member of Love and Hip Hop, Real Housewives of Wherever, Jersey Shore, For The Love of Ray J, Flavor of Love, and so many others, only then will women see some type of incentive to grow up.