You Alone Are Enough: Stop Looking to Men for Approval

sad_black_woman

If you are anything like me, then you love you some men! It is just something about them (insert your type here!) that attracts you. We each have our own preferences and our types but long story short: we like what we like and they like what they like. Men have their preferences too.

With that being said all men are not attracted to the same thing. Nor are they looking to give you approval for everything you do, say, or wear. If you desire approval from any man in your life whether it be your dad, boyfriend, or male friend then this is an automatic red flag that you don’t think you are enough.

But, I am here to tell you. News Flash: You Alone are Enough. Needing a man’s approval for anything signifies that you don’t feel confident enough to think for yourself and comfortable enough to be yourself.

So what happens, when you break up with your man and he is no longer there to tell you that you look good? What happens when you move to a different state from your dad and you don’t talk to him as much as you like? What happens when your husband gets too comfortable and stops saying all the lovey-dovey romantic things he said in the beginning?

What will you do then? Get into an insecure slump again? Because he is not there to make you come alive or feel good about yourself. Wake up and smell the coffee, the roses, and your life that is rolling by.

If you think that a man will give you confidence—you’ve got a lot to learn. You alone must believe in yourself and approve yourself first! Besides, no man truly wants a woman who needs constant approval. It is unattractive. It signifies a lack of confidence. It will become annoying over time. It will cause him to treat you less then after a while.

A man wants a woman who alone approves of herself, loves herself, and believes in herself. This is what attracts him in. It intrigues him that you have thought highly enough of yourself to approve your own self, and in turn given yourself permission to even consider him as an option.

You choose him. He does not choose you. But, if you are letting the men in your life give you approval you will never have the relationship with yourself or men that you really desire.

I get it. You want the men in your life to like you. You want to look good for them. You want to say the right things. You want to do the right things so he likes you. By focusing on these items you miss the point.

The point is…read the rest on Ms. Nix in the Mix blog here!

I want to hear from you:

  • Have you ever looked to men for approval?
  • What advice would you give to a woman who look to men for approval?
  • Is it natural for women to want this approval?