How to Discover, Overcome & Move On from What Is Holding You Back

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For the past several months, I’ve noticed anchors popping up everywhere. From bracelets, to earrings, to tops and bottoms with anchor print. This anchor trend has gained some serious momentum and seems to be everywhere I look. Since I’m not really into the Nautical look, I’ve tried to ignore the trend until recently when I spotted a cute anchor ring on VeryJane.com and that got me thinking about this new fashion trend.

 Normally when I hear the word “anchor,” I think of something strong and steadfast. I mean the word itself means to fix, fasten and support. And all those words have positive connotations. For example, when I think about the qualities of a significant other or a friend, I want someone who is my anchor. My rock. I want someone who will support me and hold me down.

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 But what if an anchor is actually a negative thing? What if instead of supporting and being our rock, an anchor is actually something that holds us down and keeps us back? Something that ties us to a past filled with worry, regret, anger mistakes and failures? Deadweight that we need to shake off.

 So many of us, myself included, want to be successful and happy individuals. In fact, I haven’t heard too many people say that they don’t want to be successful or that they don’t desire to lead a happy life.  Part of being successful and happy is being able to envision what you want out of life. Without vision and purpose, you’re just coasting through hoping that things will come together and finally make sense.

 And many of us know this. So we set goals, create vision boards and talk a big game about our bright future ahead. About where we will be five months from now. A year from now and so on.

 One minute everything is fine. We have our Nikes on and are running full speed ahead toward our goals.  Then SMACK! We are stopped in our tracks by that pesky anchor. You know – the one that we thought we released.

 For me, my anchor is unforgiveness of myself. I have a nasty little habit of dwelling on my past mistakes and failures. When I get in one of my moods, I beat myself up over things that happened years ago. I rehearse the same tired scenario over and over. I should havewould havecould have until the memory is so distorted. I tend to look in the rearview mirror of my life. And though it is important to know where you came from, you can’t just look in the rearview mirror because you will end up either staying stagnant or worse going in reverse instead of going forward into your future. You can’t focus on your future if you are constantly looking backwards. When I get into one of my moments, I have to quickly talk myself out of it because if not, I will be dragging around that anchor for a while.

 I was watching a recent rerun of Sex and the City, and in the episode, Carrie says “Maybe the Past is like an anchor holding us back. Maybe you have to let go of who you were to become who you will be.” So I know that I cannot become the woman I want to be if I keep focusing on the girl I used to be. I have to release that anchor of self-condemnation if I want to lead a happy and successful life.

 What’s your anchor? What’s stopping you in your tracks? What chains do you need to release or even break? Maybe your anchor is the hurt from a past relationship. Maybe it’s lack of confidence or a pessimistic attitude. Maybe it’s even a friend whose friendship is toxic. Whatever (or whoever) it is, I challenge you to spend a little time this week reflecting on what’s holding you back from becoming the phenomenal person you are meant to be.

I Want to Hear From You:

  • What’s your anchor?
  • What’s stopping you in your tracks?
  • What chains do you need to release or even break?

Comments

  1. This is a great article, most often people seem to believe anchors are only a positive concept. You articulated the negative aspect of “Anchors” without sounding negative. It was very encouraging…looking forward to more writing pieces from this author.

  2. I absolutely loved this post. It reminds me of what I’ve done with myself to release the issues of self-doubt and self-condenmation. Those were my two biggies but I have since realized (which I knew but didn’t always apply) that you can’t go backwards. Those situations and life issues are done. You can only move forward and forgive yourself for the past and some of the things that will happen in the future. The bigger problem too is that some of those issues are present in your mind because of the people you know who also recall your missteps bringing them into clear focus on a regular basis. They may possibly need to be checked on that or released from your lifescape.

    I now value learning from my mistakes instead of using myself as a whipping post. Self analysis because all of the other does nothing but tear down your self-esteem and self-motivation. Most people who look at you or watch you and never see your past or even some of the present things you’re struggling with. Viewing yourself from someone else’s eyes (not all the time but borrowing their glasses on occasion) can also be a blessing.

    Great post

  3. Petra Palmer says:

    Jaha,

    Girl – your response was fire. I don’t even know where to begin. You are so on point about forgiveness. Letting go is easy to say, but hard to do. It takes time. It really has to be a conscious decision, and a daily practice. Sometimes we are our own biggest enemies. We hate on ourselves. I’m not even going to touch the part about people being a reminder of our missteps. That in itself is another post lol.

    Thanks for the love.