Love yourself. Self-love is the key. How many times have we heard this as the end all be all of being confident or having higher self-esteem? A million times if you ask me. Ironically, I promote the same messages because it is true. Loving yourself is the first step to unlock a life of happiness, fulfillment, and success. However, my best friend pointed this out the other day, “enough with just loving yourself, do you even like yourself. No one ever talks about that aspect of it.” Ding! Ding! Ding!
Girlfriend was so right. I have never thought of it that way. She noted that she finally felt that for the first time in her life that she had come into her own and not only loved herself but she liked herself. She reminded me that it is easy to love anything. We can easily love but to be in love or to actually like something or someone is so much harder, and perhaps we should be putting more emphasis in these areas as it pertains to building confidence.
So as it stands, do you actually like yourself? Sure, you may love you. But, are you in love with you?
For example, you can love a man, but dislike his actions or his behavior or even his personality. You can love yourself, but dislike your body, your flaws, or even your hair. The key to building long-lasting confidence and empowerment is to not only love yourself but like who you are flaws and all from head to toe.
Let me clarify the differences between the two:
Love– An intense feeling of deep affection
Like– The things one likes or prefers
Ask and answer these five questions to help you determine whether you really even like yourself:
- Are you comfortable being alone with yourself and enjoying your own company?
- Do you accept and find beauty in your body on the inside and out?
- Do you believe others enjoy being in your presence?
- Are you constantly letting negative thoughts run your mind or your life?
- Do you allow others to take advantage of you or treat you badly?
Based on your responses, use the following as a guide to determine where you fall on the “like-ability” scale:
If you are comfortable being alone then you like yourself enough to be your own best friend first. If you like you, then others will like you too.
If you accept and find beauty in your body then you like what you have been blessed with.
If you believe others enjoy being in your presence then others desire to be around you is a direct reflection of the fact that you like yourself and deem yourself worthy enough to attract great people to surround yourself with.
If you fight negative thoughts and do not allow them to run your life then you like yourself enough to kick fear to the curb.
If you fail to let others take advantage of you then you have demonstrated that you like who you are and refuse to let anyone or anything get in the way of that.
I Want to Hear From You:
- Would you agree?
- Do you feel like you are unequally like and love yourself?
- What other questions could you ask yourself to help you determine this?
- Why do you think we struggle with this so often?