8 Ways to Be More Confident With Men & Relationships

Couple Cuddling --- Image by © LWA-Dann Tardif/Corbis

Couple Cuddling — Image by © LWA-Dann Tardif/Corbis

Men are so simple. Yet, they seem so complicated.

Men seem difficult to understand, reach, and connect with when you aren’t well versed in male-female relations. You don’t fully understand what unique traits men possess versus women.

This is not knowledge we are born with. It is knowledge that you are here to learn if you so choose to improve the quality of your relationships and interactions with men.

Here’s how to interact with men with more confidence: 

  1. Know your worth (deep down within)
    Sex, make-up, cute clothes, going out of your way for him, always being available, constantly calling and texting him, taking care of him, paying for him, making excuses for his bad behavior, and so on will always end in heartbreak because it can NEVER fill the void of worthiness and validation you are seeking through these actions.

Don’t me get me wrong, catering to the RIGHT man is fine! But, so often we do it for the wrong one(s) and we end up getting hurt in the end. Know the difference between the two.

How you think of yourself is how a man will think of you.
What you allow him to do is what he will continue to do.

2. Stop thinking about it so much
The more you think about him, the less you will see him showing up for you in the way you want. Give him space to breathe, do his thing, and miss you and think about you! Stop thinking so hard about every little thing he does or says.

For example, if your girlfriend said, “let me get a few minutes to get myself together and then we can go out.” You wouldn’t think twice about it, but if your man said the same thing. Our minds usually automatically jump to the worst thoughts “omg! He doesn’t want to be around me” or “he needs some space. What did I do wrong?” So stop it. It is unnecessary.

Overreacting means you need validation.

3. Handle your Sh*t
Stop making a new man (boyfriend or husband) suffer for what someone else did in the past. It is NOT his fault. Take the time to get yourself together before a) hopping into a new relationship b) blaming/shaming your new guy c) feeling insecure with your man

Handling your ish means reflecting on your past relationships, and uncovering the lessons you were to learn from the experience. Learn more here.

It is also means stop depending on a man to make you happy, stop doing the same thing you have always done that doesn’t work, stop waiting around for him to change, stop trying to change him, stop dealing with men who are unworthy!!

4. Shut Down Your Insecurities
Insecurities are the biggest turn OFF! Let them go. Take the time to become more self-aware, personally develop yourself as a woman, and invest in resources that will help you heal those insecurities.

Men respond to YOUR emotions. Women are naturally better at handling their emotions. So it’s always up to the woman to be the “emotional leader” in a relationship. This is why the woman can ALWAYS change the dynamic of a relationship…because we are just POWERFUL like that.

5. Forgive Your Exes
All of THEM! No matter what they did or said. Forgive him. Not to help him, but to free you. If you want to truly be confident with men….you have to free yourself of the ish that weighs you down from the past. Learn to appreciate what you actually learned from those experiences. Part of that experience could be tied to your divine purpose. Turn that “mess” into a “message”.

Hard to let go? This is an unhealthy attachment.

Consider what need  you are trying to fill from HIM that you are not filling for yourself? 

6. Open UP!!!!
Relationships of any kind require intimacy and vulnerability. If this is a struggle for you, you will always have unfulfilling relationships. Be open to any and all men approaching you (even if he works at Wawa)….being open doesn’t mean marrying the cashier at Wawa. It means being open to the cashier giving you a compliment or admiring your beauty. There’s no reason why he can’t think you are hot! But you don’t have to entertain him long term.

Be open to being romanced.
Be open to being loved, honored, cherished, and valued.
Be open to flirting any and everywhere.
Be open to dating men who are NOT your “type”
Be open to trying something new if you have been a relationship for a while.

7. Choose Character over Charisma
Looks and money won’t make you happy at night. But a man of good character who adores you every single day will! Ever wonder why you never like the guys who actually like you? Because you usually think they are “corny” or “wack” or “not rough enough” for you.

The truth is those are typically the very guys who will love, honor, and cherish you like you want. Instead you choose men who you have to chase after, take care of, cry over, and “make it work” when you know deep down it won’t. You can suffer or you can step into a new phase of your love life. The choice is yours.

8. Elevate Your Feminine Magnetism (save the best for last)
Your magnetism is the #1 key to being confident with men whether you are single, dating, married, or recently divorced. If you have this on LOCK, than love is so much easier! 

  • Stop DOING, DOING, and DOING – allow yourself to be taken care of
  • Have a FULL life outside of your guy
  • Stop being reactive and picking fights
  • Mirror his actions and behavior (follow his lead…ie. If he doesn’t call, then don’t call him)
  • Stop asking about where the relationship is going, and instead pay attention to his ACTIONS they tell it all
  • If dating, stop only talking to one guy and start a dating rotation which instantly makes you HIGH VALUE and CONFIDENT

Comment Below:

  • What is your biggest struggle with men and relationships?
  • Which of these tips resonated with you the most?

 

Ready to increase your feminine magnetism and attract high quality men?

Get my e-book, Find Him, Keep Him for a step-by-step guide to get the love you deserve.