How to Be Unbothered By What Others Say & Think

You ever been minding your own damn business or even just in mid conversation…and someone drops some:

  • UNSOLICITED
  • NOT NICE
  • UNCALLED FOR
  • JUDGEMENTAL
  • CALL A SISTAH OUT….SHIT….…….that makes you feel some type of way…not in a good way.

This happened to me today and I was like “well damn…just pull all my cards, why don’t you!”

I know I’m not the only one.

Guess what I’ve learned…not to ENTERTAIN other people’s nasty ass comments, thoughts, or even actions….#ain’tnobodygottimeforthat

So…let’s explore how to be UNBOTHERED by what others say….

In the words of Kenya Moore (yep, she’s bootleg but she at least said one thing that I love) from Real Housewives of Atlanta:

“Don’t send for me unless I send for you!”

Seriously, but if someone does send for you OR if you think someone might have something to say about what YOU choose to do…here’ how to handle it with FIERCE CONFIDENCE:

1. KNOW YOURSELF
First off, you have to really know yourself. Really own all of your own sh*t first. No one is perfect. So people will always have something to say. But if you have at least already owned yourself flaws and all, then there is no reason to give a damn if others notice something you are insecure about, weak in, or working through. If they send for you, remind them “I’m a work in progress”

2. REMEMBER WHO YOU ANSWER TO
It damn sure isn’t your family or friends or your man or your professor or whoever…it’s God or whatever higher power you believe in. At the end of the day that is who you answer to not anybody else, especially not anybody lurking on your Facebook or Instagram looking for things to say either.

3. JOURNAL NEGATIVITY AWAY
When you get triggered or get anxious or scared someone might judge you or have a situation arise where someone decides to say something to you..use your journal to reaffirm that you are okay and nothing is going to stop you from living your life and being happy! I teach the ladies in my Unleash Your FIERCE program how to effectively journal…it actually works wonders!!

4. KNOW THEY ARE PROJECTING THEIR OWN ISH
Recognize that the naysayer, hater, doubter, culprit…whatever you want to call them is dealing with his or her own ish…so sometimes calling you out or saying something makes them feel better about themselves.

5. VALIDATE YOURSELF
After an episode pops up, you have to remember to tell yourself, “Even though that was a lot or even if that might be true…I still deeply love and accept myself as I am.” Boom…ain’t no shame in your game if you affirm yourself and love all on yourself.

Lastly, here’s the thing—other people don’t always understand that you are working on yourself, evolving yourself, dreaming, goal planning, taking action, healing, growing…

They can’t always see the PROGRESS and the PROCESS you are going through to become who God called you to be.

You know what? They don’t have to either because it’s not for them to see. People see what they want to see. They don’t know the season you are in. They damn sure don’t know all you’ve been through. They also don’t know what God has planned only for you.

But, it is up to you to be STRONG and KNOW THAT YOU ARE ON THE RIGHT PATH…no matter how lost, behind, confused, insecure, or stuck you might feel in certain areas of your life.

Keep going! Don’t answer to anyone else. LOVE YOURSELF fiercely and know that you might not be perfect but you’ll be damn if you’re going to let someone else stop you from shining….

As the African proverb goes, “When there is no enemy within, the enemies outside cannot hurt you.”

If you want to work on this more, be sure to get my Spring Into Confidence Bundle here.